blame it on the gravy
this morning everyone coughed up their starting weights for the competition, version 2.0. & i'm up from the end of the first competition, by three whole pounds, which really really sucks. but i'm still down a total of 5.6 lbs from my starting weight in this whole thing last fall. i guess that's not so bad considering christmas was in there.
& during christmas i took a big vacation from reality. towards the end of the competition i wasn't taking it too seriously anyway. it was obvious to me that jenn was going to win it, which she did. i had my last meeting with the nutritionist & was officially rubber stamped g2g for gastric bypass & just needed to meet with the surgeon. i was in the middle of not only calling off my wedding but actually breaking up with jack. so december kind of sucked ass all the way around.
i know that stress & emotional strain is no excuse for eating like wilbur (some pig) but sometimes it's just so hard to dig down deep & pull up the gumption & stick-to-it-ness that you need in order to see something like this through. & it does get very discouraging, to every day feel like you're depriving yourself & every day go to the gym til you're dripping with sweat & then see no visible results in the scale, in your clothes, in anything. it's fucking disheartening, yo.
granted i did have a wee little new year's road trip in their, & road food has never been well known for being the healthiest dining fare around, but i did resist the urge for mcdonalds. but i indulged in enough chips & chocolate to really make up for it. & then there were the gravy fries at nector's in vermont. YUM! but oh so unhealthy. &, also, i have to note, probably THE best hamburger that i have ever had in my whole long life. *homer-esq drools*
but it's a brand new year & a brand new start, for everyone. & i've decided that come hell or high water 2007 is going to be a fabulous year. i'm going to take the time that i need to focus on myself & do the things in my life that i've been putting off while i take care of others. & this challenge is just the start of all of that.
besides, i can't let jenn win challenge #2 also, it'll make her get a big head : )
& during christmas i took a big vacation from reality. towards the end of the competition i wasn't taking it too seriously anyway. it was obvious to me that jenn was going to win it, which she did. i had my last meeting with the nutritionist & was officially rubber stamped g2g for gastric bypass & just needed to meet with the surgeon. i was in the middle of not only calling off my wedding but actually breaking up with jack. so december kind of sucked ass all the way around.
i know that stress & emotional strain is no excuse for eating like wilbur (some pig) but sometimes it's just so hard to dig down deep & pull up the gumption & stick-to-it-ness that you need in order to see something like this through. & it does get very discouraging, to every day feel like you're depriving yourself & every day go to the gym til you're dripping with sweat & then see no visible results in the scale, in your clothes, in anything. it's fucking disheartening, yo.
granted i did have a wee little new year's road trip in their, & road food has never been well known for being the healthiest dining fare around, but i did resist the urge for mcdonalds. but i indulged in enough chips & chocolate to really make up for it. & then there were the gravy fries at nector's in vermont. YUM! but oh so unhealthy. &, also, i have to note, probably THE best hamburger that i have ever had in my whole long life. *homer-esq drools*
but it's a brand new year & a brand new start, for everyone. & i've decided that come hell or high water 2007 is going to be a fabulous year. i'm going to take the time that i need to focus on myself & do the things in my life that i've been putting off while i take care of others. & this challenge is just the start of all of that.
besides, i can't let jenn win challenge #2 also, it'll make her get a big head : )
posted by beckah | 2:54 PM
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